You started to leave as cold-nosed Winter
bulldozed through Guy Fawkes skies
and Christmas silent nights
Your nearness was a far plane
of slumped reflection, deliberation,
contemplation of your plight; ours
Suspicion stirred in morning tea
and pre-work niceties.
You watched my back
head buried
too close to the print
Denial clung to me
lied too long
busy dismissing the cosseted phone
obsessive hygiene
aloofness
Old realities played,
taunting
giggling-head days,
home fire Wednesdays,
pledges in sweat daze
churning around
on a distant carousel
I hoped you could see
feel
remember
but your dead eyes
only begged for the ‘talk’
so you could bring it up
like rancid vomit
Coward
You left in the yellow haze of daffodils
and I hated you
with all the love anyone could imagine.
Ah, this is painful to read, yet so well expressed. The ending is very powerful, intense, sums it up!
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Thank you, Mary.
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The last 4 lines are tight.
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Thank you, daisy chain
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Oh this is so intense and heartbreaking…
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Thank you, Sanaa
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The ending was filled with emotional angst ~ I wonder what led up to this situation, still its very hard to hate someone, with all the love inside ~
Thanks for joining us at Dverse ~
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Thank you, Grace. It’s not personal, yet gleaned from walking with others through life experiences.
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I love this, much:
“Suspicion stirred in morning tea”
And boy, do I understand “hating with love.” Whew.
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Thank you, de (worked it out!) and yes, it’s the most painful way to hate.
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Intense..love the last four lines.
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Thank you
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Powerful, wow I feel like I got punched
“Suspicion stirred in morning tea” says so much, and the last two lines wind it up well with a final
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Didn’t mean to punch you! 🙂 Thanks so much for reading.
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This is excellent.
“Your nearness was a far plane
of slumped reflection”
“Your eyes begged for the ‘talk’,
so you could bring it up
like rancid vomit.”
“You left in a yellow haze with the daffodils”
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Thank you, daisy
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What I really like the most is the feeling of predestined failure… an affair with all the intensity and all the ambitions and hope… yet I get a feeling something was doomed from the start. The last line is extremely powerful.
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Yes, it’s like a retrospective look back at what happened. You don’t always see the clues until much later. Thanks for reading, Bjorn.
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Intense and the way you presented it was very nice. I feel very sad and yet there’s this underlying strength felt. Awesome!
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Thanks so much. It’s so valuable when someone takes time to give feedback.
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I really like that second stanza and your excellent close!
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Thank you for reading, Jennifer
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Loved the last 2 lines. Powerful contrary.
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Thanks, Bryan 🙂
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Lost Love..
Loving Losses
strange bedfellows
of nuerochemicals
and neurohormones
that follow loss..
dopamine
pleasure
riSinG..
poeTry
calls.. oxytocin
social bonding
falls.. caLLinG
Love.. more..
oh.. the signs
and hints of
nuero
stuff.. now..
to understand
Nature can be
to master
iT iN..
relative
Free WiLL..
wheRe no
one..
controls
uS but Us..
FREE iS
alWays
inside..
trUly
us.. inside..
outside.. and
aLL a’Round..
at least i feel
i kNow.. i feel
i reason..
i master
relative
free
will..
miNd and
boDY balance
as soUl oF uS..
moving.. connecting
in emoTioNaL spiRit
oF heARt.. expresSinG..
feeLinGs.. now regulating
emoTioNs.. inTeGraTinG
senses.. a dance now
and SonG
of LiFe
for
NOW
free WiLL
under Love..
F R E E D O M..:)
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Wow, your writing flows, dances and sings off the page – in every way. Unique 🙂
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Sounds like an awkward morning and a bad break up long in the making. Good imagery. I could see everything going on in the kitchen, even hear the spoon clinking the cup as suspicion was stirred.
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