Contemplating Dating

People tell me I should try a little dating.
Go on, dear’, they trill, ‘It’s just the tonic’,
Their nagging tends to get a
little grating,
so, I’ll meet you, Geoff, as long as it’s platonic.

It’s not easy for a spinster to engage
(at the age of sixty nine), with men at all,
and especially on a dating escapade.
I feel a tad embarrassed overall.

I’ll meet you at the library at six.
We’ll discuss the type of books you like to read.
Myself, I’m keen on art and politics.
I knit a bit and propagate from seed.

Grecian architecture tends to float my boat
also Romans and related artefacts.
More productive and engaging, take a note,
than spending time on body fluid acts.

There’ll be no talk of etchings in your room
so please don’t think I’m wet behind the ears.
It’s not the ears with urge incontinence, you know,
I like to have convenience quite near.

If we dine at all, I’ll do it Dutch, that’s fine,
but you mustn’t touch my veggies or my passionfruit soufflé.
Food exchange is unhygienic, kindly keep your hands off mine
or I might pick up a virus. Golly! What would Mother say?

It’s companionship I fancy, not a physical display.
If we venture to the cinema, eyes front toward the screen.
I like a film that’s jovial, uplifting in some way.
Mary Poppins is my favourite. She’s never been obscene.

You may walk me to my cottage – ‘round the back,
avoiding twitchy curtains. Mrs Davenport’s the worst.
Don’t try to slip your hand inside my North Face anorak,
and no kissing. Too familiar, and you must meet Mother first.

Hello…hello, you listening or just a trifle deaf?
Say something…speak to me…I doubt I’ll ask again.
Geoff?…Geoff? That’s strange. The line’s gone dead.
I’ll speak to him on Tuesday. He can make his mind up then.

About ShirleyB

I was born with the muse in me. Sometimes I wish it would go away but it won't, so, good, bad or ugly it will escape intermittently.
This entry was posted in Comedy, d'verse Prompts, Love & Romance, Poems In Text. Bookmark the permalink.

35 Responses to Contemplating Dating

  1. I love the line in the middle “and what would mother say?” It was quite unexpected for an old lady of 68 to be wondering about what her mother might think. Peace, Linda

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sanaa Rizvi says:

    Lovely progression and flow 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh, this is a hoot. I love it and I can’t begin to wonder why he hung up! I really like how you wove in rhyme…and a great character sketch.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Timoteo says:


    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mary says:

    Oh this is priceless! Such humor. You’ve captured her very well. But, ha, I wish she would be a little more daring & loosen up a bit. What does she have to lose….now?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Grace says:

    This made me smile the whole time ~ If I have date again, I think I will also have stipulations but I think most of all, its important to have fun 🙂 Love the whole story ~

    Liked by 1 person

  7. whimsygizmo says:

    The gentle rhyme in this had me smiling and seeing the scene in my head the whole way through. Wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh.. I think if dating again it would be hard to match up expectations… I guess it had to take its time though… I really smiled all the way through the wonderful poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ShirleyB says:

    Thanks, Bjorn 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love, love, love this speaker! Her no-nonsense attitude makes me smile and nod. The tone of the poem is exquisite.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. ShirleyB says:

    Hi Magaly, so glad you took to this. High five sista! 🙂 x


  12. Oh I love the spunk she has! She knows who she is, what she wants and what she doesn’t. I enjoyed every bit of this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Bodhirose says:

    Ha…this is really funny! But I kept thinking, gosh I’m not that far away from 68 and she seems so OLD! And still wondering what her mother would think too… 🙂


  14. ShirleyB says:

    🙂 but, no doubt, you are a million years away from this poor, life-sheltered soul. Thank you Bodhirose x


  15. Bryan Ens says:

    Love it. I agree with some of the other commenters …the 68 year old being concerned with what mother would think was great!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Anna says:

    An excellent characterization with such personality. It’s hard to find the perfect fit between our own weird and that of another :).

    Liked by 1 person

  17. FriEnds

    Liked by 1 person

  18. ShirleyB says:

    kT U aaargh GGGrayT x

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Really funny! Sounds to me like she already has a great life!


  20. Sounds like she already has a great life without dating!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Bekkie says:

    Oh my! I am very lonely and have considered dating but have the same feelings (almost) as she does. Somehow it’s lost it’s luster.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Sean Michael says:

    A little OCD? Just kidding. Sounds like you just want a nice evening with a friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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