Musical Dip – Moving-Poems.com

Formal Verse, Quatrian Refrain

Musical Dip

The cruise was meant to mend her hip…

March 25, 2016

1 minute

A Quatrian Refrain comprising eight lines:
two tercets and a couplet,
eight syllables per line or iambic tetrameter, your choice,
first line is a refrain, repeated as the last (some variation acceptable).

It was indeed a fated trip.
She wanted music endlessly.
It pays to listen properly.

The cruise was meant to mend her hip.
‘Over here’, I cried, self-satisfied,
and whooping loud, ‘A band on ship’.

She jumped, feet-first, straight in the sea.
I won’t forget that fated trip.

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31 responses to “Musical Dip”

Victoria C. Slotto

March 25, 2016 at 12:54 am

Fun take on the prompt and well-written. Not sure that cruise was very therapeutic for her, though.

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:00 pm
  
  Thank you, Victoria
  
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Bodhirose

March 25, 2016 at 1:02 am

Oh man, that was a fated trip but it made for a really fun poem! 🙂

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:00 pm
  
  Thank you 🙂
  
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Waltermarks

March 25, 2016 at 1:06 am

Okay Shirley. It took me a minute to catch your quip. Nothing like yelling a band on ship, very good!

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:01 pm
  
  Thanks Walt. Think you’re the only one that spotted it 🙂
  
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Grace

March 25, 2016 at 1:22 am

That would be indeed a memorable trip ~ Love the cadence of the middle stanza with hip/ship ~

Thanks for joining us and Happy Easter !!!

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:02 pm
  
  Thank you, Grace
  
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Sanaa Rizvi

March 25, 2016 at 1:59 am

Such an exquisite play on form so well executed!

Lots of love,
Sanaa

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:02 pm
  
  Thank you, Saana
  
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Kathy Reed

March 25, 2016 at 2:00 am

Fun to read and nicely done..really, not to be trite;)

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:02 pm
  
  Thank you, Kathy
  
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felicity

March 25, 2016 at 2:01 am

I love this.

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Gay Reiser Cannon

March 25, 2016 at 2:47 am

Captured the form with lots of fun and play on words. Enjoyed this a lot! Well writ.

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 27, 2016 at 8:08 am
  
  Thank you, Gay
  
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Mary

March 25, 2016 at 3:14 am

Well, it definitely seems like the cruise was ILL-fated!

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:04 pm
  
  Thank you, Mary
  
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lynn__

March 25, 2016 at 4:23 pm

Funny…but ouch that had to hurt!

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 25, 2016 at 10:04 pm
  
  Thank you, Lynn
  
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petrujviljoen

March 25, 2016 at 6:47 pm

Made me laugh!

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 27, 2016 at 8:08 am
  
  Thank you 🙂
  
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Walt Wojtanik

March 25, 2016 at 8:26 pm

Those bands have a way of ruining a good trip! Made me smile, Shirley!

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ShirleyB

March 25, 2016 at 10:06 pm

🙂 Thank you, Walt

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Anonymous

March 26, 2016 at 1:58 am

Loved the play on words…”a band on ship” indeed. Perfect use of rhyme, meter and format. Nicely done.

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 27, 2016 at 8:09 am
  
  Thank you 🙂
  
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whimsygizmo

March 26, 2016 at 5:35 am

Ha! Too much fun!

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 27, 2016 at 8:09 am
  
  Thank you, De
  
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mishunderstood

March 27, 2016 at 4:35 am

Hilarious. D)
I like how the title rhymed with the refrain line as well.

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1. ShirleyB
  
  March 27, 2016 at 8:10 am
  
  Thank you, Mish (you miss nothing 🙂 )
  
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Bryan Ens

March 28, 2016 at 12:40 pm

A band on ship. Love the play on words!

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katiemiafrederick

April 13, 2016 at 4:35 am

Band
Aid
oN
trip would
fare the weLLer
than a Band on
Ship.. for sure..;)

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