Went to charity shop

bought a trumpet
took it home
blew it hard
got no tone

tried pipe cleaners
prodded about
horrible colour
they came out

read instructions
don’t know Russian
wasn’t sure
could be a musician

took deep breath
gave it some clout
lo and behold
noise came out

wet my lips
practised more
sounded worse
than before

couldn’t think
hard to ignore
all the banging
from next door

Dave was howling
noise was grim
wish I hadn’t
bought the thing

not the dog
meant the trumpet
now I’m thinking
shall I dump it

took it back
went berserk
told the bloke
it doesn’t work

eyed me strange
said he’d swap it
said I want my 3 quid back
told me to hop-it

said ‘OK’ swap it
wasn’t keen
can’t work out
this tambourine