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Leaving The Carousel

Heartbreaking reflections of one woman going through a painful break up.

ShirleyB
1 minute

You started to leave as cold-nosed Winter
bulldozed through Guy Fawkes skies
and Christmas silent nights

Your nearness was a far plane
of slumped reflection, deliberation,
contemplation of your plight; ours

Suspicion stirred in morning tea
and pre-work niceties.

You watched my back
head buried
too close to the print

Denial clung to me
lied too long

busy dismissing the
cosseted phone

obsessive hygiene
aloofness

Old realities played,
taunting
giggling-head days,
home fire Wednesdays,
pledges in sweat daze
churning around
on a distant carousel

I hoped you could see
feel
remember

but your dead eyes
only begged for the ‘talk’
so you could bring it up
like rancid vomit

Coward

You left
in the yellow haze of daffodils
and I hated you
with all the love
anyone could imagine.

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27 responses to “Leaving The Carousel”

  1. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    Ah, this is painful to read, yet so well expressed. The ending is very powerful, intense, sums it up!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. ShirleyB Avatar
      ShirleyB

      Thank you, Mary.

      Like

      Reply
  2. daisy chain Avatar
    daisy chain

    The last 4 lines are tight.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. ShirleyB Avatar
      ShirleyB

      Thank you, daisy chain

      Like

      Reply
  3. Sanaa Rizvi Avatar
    Sanaa Rizvi

    Oh this is so intense and heartbreaking…

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. ShirleyB Avatar
      ShirleyB

      Thank you, Sanaa

      Like

      Reply
  4. Grace Avatar
    Grace

    The ending was filled with emotional angst ~ I wonder what led up to this situation, still its very hard to hate someone, with all the love inside ~

    Thanks for joining us at Dverse ~

    Like

    Reply
  5. ShirleyB Avatar
    ShirleyB

    Thank you, Grace. It’s not personal, yet gleaned from walking with others through life experiences.

    Like

    Reply
  6. whimsygizmo Avatar
    whimsygizmo

    I love this, much:
    “Suspicion stirred in morning tea”

    And boy, do I understand “hating with love.” Whew.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. ShirleyB Avatar
    ShirleyB

    Thank you, de (worked it out!) and yes, it’s the most painful way to hate.

    Like

    Reply
  8. thotpurge Avatar
    thotpurge

    Intense..love the last four lines.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. ShirleyB Avatar
      ShirleyB

      Thank you

      Like

      Reply
  9. Pleasant Street Avatar
    Pleasant Street

    Powerful, wow I feel like I got punched

    “Suspicion stirred in morning tea” says so much, and the last two lines wind it up well with a final

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. ShirleyB Avatar
      ShirleyB

      Didn’t mean to punch you! 🙂 Thanks so much for reading.

      Like

      Reply
  10. daisy chain Avatar
    daisy chain

    This is excellent.

    “Your nearness was a far plane
    of slumped reflection”

    “Your eyes begged for the ‘talk’,
    so you could bring it up
    like rancid vomit.”

    “You left in a yellow haze with the daffodils”

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. ShirleyB Avatar
      ShirleyB

      Thank you, daisy

      Like

      Reply
  11. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) Avatar
    Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    What I really like the most is the feeling of predestined failure… an affair with all the intensity and all the ambitions and hope… yet I get a feeling something was doomed from the start. The last line is extremely powerful.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. ShirleyB Avatar
      ShirleyB

      Yes, it’s like a retrospective look back at what happened. You don’t always see the clues until much later. Thanks for reading, Bjorn.

      Like

      Reply
  12. writersdream9 Avatar
    writersdream9

    Intense and the way you presented it was very nice. I feel very sad and yet there’s this underlying strength felt. Awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. ShirleyB Avatar
    ShirleyB

    Thanks so much. It’s so valuable when someone takes time to give feedback.

    Like

    Reply
  14. Jennifer Wagner Avatar
    Jennifer Wagner

    I really like that second stanza and your excellent close!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  15. ShirleyB Avatar
    ShirleyB

    Thank you for reading, Jennifer

    Like

    Reply
  16. Bryan Ens Avatar
    Bryan Ens

    Loved the last 2 lines. Powerful contrary.

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    Reply
  17. ShirleyB Avatar
    ShirleyB

    Thanks, Bryan 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  18. katiemiafrederick Avatar
    katiemiafrederick

    Lost Love..
    Loving Losses
    strange bedfellows
    of nuerochemicals
    and neurohormones
    that follow loss..
    dopamine
    pleasure
    riSinG..
    poeTry
    calls.. oxytocin
    social bonding
    falls.. caLLinG
    Love.. more..
    oh.. the signs
    and hints of
    nuero
    stuff.. now..
    to understand
    Nature can be
    to master
    iT iN..
    relative
    Free WiLL..
    wheRe no
    one..
    controls
    uS but Us..
    FREE iS
    alWays
    inside..
    trUly
    us.. inside..
    outside.. and
    aLL a’Round..
    at least i feel
    i kNow.. i feel
    i reason..
    i master
    relative
    free
    will..
    miNd and
    boDY balance
    as soUl oF uS..
    moving.. connecting
    in emoTioNaL spiRit
    oF heARt.. expresSinG..
    feeLinGs.. now regulating
    emoTioNs.. inTeGraTinG
    senses.. a dance now
    and SonG
    of LiFe
    for
    NOW
    free WiLL
    under Love..
    F R E E D O M..:)

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  19. ShirleyB Avatar
    ShirleyB

    Wow, your writing flows, dances and sings off the page – in every way. Unique 🙂

    Like

    Reply
  20. Sean Michael Avatar
    Sean Michael

    Sounds like an awkward morning and a bad break up long in the making. Good imagery. I could see everything going on in the kitchen, even hear the spoon clinking the cup as suspicion was stirred.

    Like

    Reply

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