People tell me I should try a little dating.
‘Go on, dear’, they trill, ‘It’s just the tonic’,
Their nagging tends to get a little grating,
so, I’ll meet you, Geoff, as long as it’s platonic.
It’s not easy for a spinster to engage
(at the age of sixty nine), with men at all,
and especially on a dating escapade.
I feel a tad embarrassed overall.
I’ll meet you at the library at six.
We’ll discuss the type of books you like to read.
Myself, I’m keen on art and politics.
I knit a bit and propagate from seed.
Grecian architecture tends to float my boat
also Romans and related artefacts.
More productive and engaging, take a note,
than spending time on body fluid acts.
There’ll be no talk of etchings in your room
so please don’t think I’m wet behind the ears.
It’s not the ears with urge incontinence, you know,
I like to have convenience quite near.
If we dine at all, I’ll do it Dutch, that’s fine,
but you mustn’t touch my veggies or my passion–fruit soufflé.
Food exchange is unhygienic, kindly keep your hands off mine
or I might pick up a virus. Golly! What would Mother say?
It’s companionship I fancy, not a physical display.
If we venture to the cinema, eyes front toward the screen.
I like a film that’s jovial, uplifting in some way.
Mary Poppins is my favourite. She’s never been obscene.
You may walk me to my cottage – ‘round the back,
avoiding twitchy curtains. Mrs Davenport’s the worst.
Don’t try to slip your hand inside my North Face anorak,
and no kissing. Too familiar, and you must meet Mother first.
Hello…hello, you listening or just a trifle deaf?
Say something…speak to me…I doubt I’ll ask again.
Geoff?…Geoff? That’s strange. The line’s gone dead.
I’ll speak to him on Tuesday. He can make his mind up then.
I love the line in the middle “and what would mother say?” It was quite unexpected for an old lady of 68 to be wondering about what her mother might think. Peace, Linda
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Thanks, Linda
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Lovely progression and flow 😀
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Thank you, Sanaa
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Oh, this is a hoot. I love it and I can’t begin to wonder why he hung up! I really like how you wove in rhyme…and a great character sketch.
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Hmm, can’t think why! 🙂 Thank you, Victoria
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SHE’S LOOKING FOR A MAN
WHO IS A SAINT
BUT OF THAT ILK
THERE REALLY AIN’T
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Hmm…an un-rude dude. Hope springs eternal 🙂
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Oh this is priceless! Such humor. You’ve captured her very well. But, ha, I wish she would be a little more daring & loosen up a bit. What does she have to lose….now?
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Maybe she’ll unbutton her anorak yet 🙂 Who knows? Thank you, Mary
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This made me smile the whole time ~ If I have date again, I think I will also have stipulations but I think most of all, its important to have fun 🙂 Love the whole story ~
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Thank you, Grace
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The gentle rhyme in this had me smiling and seeing the scene in my head the whole way through. Wonderful.
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Thanks, de 🙂
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Oh.. I think if dating again it would be hard to match up expectations… I guess it had to take its time though… I really smiled all the way through the wonderful poem.
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Thanks, Bjorn 🙂
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I love, love, love this speaker! Her no-nonsense attitude makes me smile and nod. The tone of the poem is exquisite.
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Oh, and I got a kick out of them meeting at the library. 😀
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Hi Magaly, so glad you took to this. High five sista! 🙂 x
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Oh I love the spunk she has! She knows who she is, what she wants and what she doesn’t. I enjoyed every bit of this. 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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Ha…this is really funny! But I kept thinking, gosh I’m not that far away from 68 and she seems so OLD! And still wondering what her mother would think too… 🙂
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🙂 but, no doubt, you are a million years away from this poor, life-sheltered soul. Thank you Bodhirose x
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Love it. I agree with some of the other commenters …the 68 year old being concerned with what mother would think was great!
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The mother is actually an 88 year old stripper in LA 🙂
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An excellent characterization with such personality. It’s hard to find the perfect fit between our own weird and that of another :).
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It takes all sorts, Anna 🙂
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FriEnds
alWays
Free..:)
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kT U aaargh GGGrayT x
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Thanks
i
thInk..:)
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Really funny! Sounds to me like she already has a great life!
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Sounds like she already has a great life without dating!
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Thanks, Margaret. Yes, she best stay how she is!
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Oh my! I am very lonely and have considered dating but have the same feelings (almost) as she does. Somehow it’s lost it’s luster.
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A little OCD? Just kidding. Sounds like you just want a nice evening with a friend.
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